I hate Math. I really hate it a lot. I guess I'm not the only person in the entire universe who hates it. Everytime we have tests in math I always frown and my confidence goes down. I'm not always sure about that but I know that whenever we have tests in Math, I would immediately infer (even if the papers are not yet checked) that I have failed. And when the time comes that the papers will be returned, I would already confirm my guess. I knew that I fail. But that doesn't really disappoint me. Maybe I was already used to it or maybe I already knew at the back of my mind that I failed.
Looking back at my elementary years, you'd probably be amazed how my mathematical skills just simply went away or should I say forgotten. During my elementary years, our section was like the star section of the school. We were always the ones who represent the school in different competitions and contests. Fortunately most of the times we always win. When I was still in Grade 3, our teacher chose students who would represent the school in math competitions. She chose 5 students and I was one of them. Since then, every afternoon we always have our math training and we always answer difficult math problems. Sometimes, we don't attend our regular classes just to be able to answer and study math problems (in case there are contests..). During that time we were alraedy exposed to different contests and competitions in math. We were kind of lucky then because we always win. Because of that, our teacher was even more determined to train us in math because she thinks that we may be able to accomplish and achieve more if we'll train harder.
Honestly, I don't like the training we had because our teacher always scold us and insult us if we don't get the answer right. For me, that was like the most torturing experience I ever had. Yes it's true that you will be able to learn math in advance but in exchange with that is fear and psychological pain.
This monstrous training continued until I was in grade 6. We were always made to answer math questions and eventhough we would like to stop and enjoy for a moment our teacher would always stop us from enjoying and playing around. She would rather want us to sit and answer those stupid math questions. Sometimes my head would ache because of thinking too much on how to solve the problem but our teacher won't even have mercy on me. Actually it was not only me, but the rest of us who were also in the same training.
When I graduated from elementary I was grateful and happy because at last I would be able to enjoy and be able to go out from such tireful training. And with that I promised to myself that I'd forget everything I learned during that gruelous training.
When I entered my first year, I was shocked. Not because I was new to the environment or I was not still able to adjust to the new people I met but because for the first time in my entire life, I experienced to have a grade with a line of 7 in the subject math. It was really surprising because when I was still in elementary I never had a grade in math below 85. I was surprised but though I started to realize to myself how I really hate the subject. Despite that, I was still able to make it to the honors' list. I still continued and strived harder in math because I knew I was not good at it by that time. But still I was still able to make it to the honors' list. I was really nervous at the fouth quarter because there is a policy in UP that if you have a subject with line of 7, you'll not be able to receive any certificate of recognition. But luckily I did have a grade of 80 in math at the last grading period so I was glad.
When I was in second year, I experienced my first failure in my entire life. And I guess you know it, it's still in the subject math. During the 3rd grading period I had a grade of 74. I really cried because I don't know what my parents' reaction will be. During that time, I experienced depression because I felt that I was like a nobody and I was really a useless person because I don't know anything. but then I realized I have to move on and strive even harder just to pass my sophomore year and luckily, I did. I was just sad in my sophomore year because I should be one of the honors' list for the last grading period but I was not able to get a certificate because of my grade in math. From then on. I realized, hy should I strive hard to be in the honors' list when i know that I'm weak in math and it would be impossible for me to have a grade in math above 80? Why should I work harder? See what math has done to me?
in my junior year I was glad because I was able to have a grading period where in I didn't get any subject with a line of 7. My math then was good and I had a grade of 83. I was surprised and happy but then in the last grading I was not able to make it but though I expected it. Anyway I know that I was weak in math and beacuse of it I will never have a chance to be in the honors' list anymore.
Now in my senior year, I still hate math. And my dislike about it never subsided (I know it won't..). But no matter what happens, even if I hate math I have to move on. I know I will never be able to erase math in the world or even in my life because I know that math is everywhere. And eventhough it brought me a lot of misfortunes, I know someday math would also be able to help me in a way in which I would never expect it will.
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