wHaT dO i rEaLLy wAnT tO bE?

We as people really experience many things in life. These experiences might be bad or good but whatever they are, we cannot really prevent things like those from happening.

Because of these uncontrollable happenings and because of some circumstances, we also have to make some decisions in our life. Young as we may be, we are now able to make decisions. Though those decisions may not be really that big or important, we still manage to make decisions through thinking what is right and doing some reflection. But as the years pass and as we face higher challenges, we also have to make very important decisions in our life that may affect our entire life in the future.

As of the moment, I'm really having a hard time deciding about a certain aspect of my life which may affect me in the future. I'm really having a hard time on choosing my college course. I know it will be a really difficult decision I am going to make because I know that it will greatly affect my future.

Actually, I have already narrowed down my choices and they are Psychology and Nursing. I'm not really sure right now, what choice I am going to make because I think I also like both courses. But I also know that it is not only about how you like a certain course. It is also about its certain advantages and disadvantages or its pros and cons.

Passing the UPCAT is one of the most significant highlights of my life. It somehow made me make myself proud because out of thousands of aspiring applicants for the prestigious university which is University of the Philippines, I was one of those lucky people who passed the certain examination. That is why now, I am really having a hard time deciding on giving up my slot in UP. I want to be a psychologist not because I was pressured to take it but because I decided it myself. I have really thought about it several times and each time I think about it and thinking of giving up my slot, I always end up saying to myself,"kasayang pud sa ako slot uie..UP na gud na..". I know that if I will be studying in UP, I will really be getting quality education that's why I really don't mind about the quality of education that I will be obtaining because I know that the school which I will be studying is a premiere university which provides their students the best in every aspect. But what concerns me now are the job opportunities. It is now really evident that even if you are a college graduate, you will still not be able to find a good job. I know many people who are college graduates who end up working in call centers and do not use what they have learned during their college days. We all need money and of course to have that, we have to work. And for us to be able to find a job with a high salary, we must take courses which are in demand today. This idea made me really have doubts about taking up Psychology which led me to the idea of taking up the course, Nursing.

Nursing, as we all know is the most in- demand course in the Philippines. I say it is in- demand because of the high demand of nurses in other foreign countries. That's why many students now are taking up nursing to work in other countries and most especially to get a high amount of salary. Money is really a necessity nowadays and that is why many students result to choosing nursing as their course because of the money which they will be getting after graduation (if they will be given a chance to go abroad and pass the examinations). I myself have also been thinking that way too. I know that if I will be able to graduate Nursing and pass the necessary examinations for me to be able to work abroad, I will be able to earn a lot of money outside the money. The salaries of nurses here in the Philippines is not enough to sustain a family. I have a lot of cousins and an aunt who are working abroad right now and are a graduate of nursing. That is why I think that I might be able to work there easily because they already have connections there and they might be able to help me in the financial aspect. Nursing is an expensive course and our family's income is not enough to sustain it. But even though, my aunt has already promised me that she will support my college education if I will take up nursing. But I'm also worried about certain aspects and I even ask myself lots of questions. "What if I don't pass the tests?", "What if I fail?", "What if I won't be able to succeed in this course?". I really have a lot of reservations and questions. Also, I want to help our country in some way. But how will I be able to help my country if I won't stay and work here but instead leave the country to earn dollars? What will happen to our Filipino brothers and sisters who also need the help and care of Filipino nurses?

Now, I have already identified the pros and cons of both courses but still I haven't made up my mind about which course I am to take. But for now, all I have to do is just to concentrate on my studies for me to make sure that I will be able to graduate from high school and move on to a higher level. Before making my choice, I still have to reflect more and consider what my heart really wants me to do. After all, it will be my future who's at stake with the decision I will be making.