aLmOsT...

Ever had the feeling when you said to yourself, "sayang"? You actually tell that to yourself when you have something you regretted that you think you should have done. I've been through that (a lot!) and I tell you, it's not really a good thing because you might blame yourself hard. Blaming yourself is not good too because it might just depress you and it might just frustrate you.

Last February 5, 2007 was the card giving day of the UP High School in Cebu and the simultaneous homeroom meetings. As expected, during that day the honors' list was to be announced and will be posted at the faculty's bulletin board. But before the posting of the announcement in the faculty in the afternoon, during the morning, section Gonzalez was already informed of the honors' list and who were the honor students. I was shocked when our teacher also announced the students who almost made it to the honors' list. And I was not really expecting that I will be one of those students who almost made it to the honors' list.

During that moment, I did not know what should I feel. Should I be happy or should I just blame myself for not making it? But nevertheless I told myself that I should just wait in the afternoon, get my card and confirm in the class list m rank in the class and if it was really true that I almost made it. True enough, I found my name in the class list and sad to say, I really almost made it. My rank was next to the student who made it to the last spot in the honors' list. I was shocked and I really felt frustrated because I think I could have made it if only I strived harder.

After that moment, I was really asking myself silly questions like , "What was wrong with me?", "Why didn't I make it?''. Because of this, it made me remember the incident that happenned to me when I was still in my sophomore year.

Ever since I was in my first year, I had been a consistent honor student. When I was in my sophomore year, during the last grading period, I was onne of the honors but then I was not able to make it because of my grade in Math (that was algebra guys!). My grade in math was with a line of 7 and there is a policy in UP that when you have a grade with a line of 7 at the last grading period, ou'll not be able to nget a certificate of recognition. Since then, I already told myself that I should not aim anymore to be at the honors' list. But instead I should just concentrate on how to pass the subjects that I usually have a hard time dealing with. And just concentrate with my math and physics. (I'm not good with these subjects!) Since then, I never expected that I will see my name in the bulletin board. But honnestly, deep within myself, I was hoping that a day will come and I will see again myn name in the honors' list and in the bulletin board. I mean, who on Earth would not want to see his or her name in the bulletin board for honor, right?

This dreaming was fulfilled during my junior year during the third grading period because I was able to make it to the honors' list again. I was happy then, but I still told myself that I should just continue doing what I should have to do and as I have said a while ago and that is just to pass the subjects in which I have difficulties. true enough, I was able to make it and I was able to continue my senior year in UP.

And then again, it happened. I almost made it again to the honors' list but then again I was not able to make it. There are certainly a lot of things in which I should improve to be able to see my name in the honors' list. But for now, I am happy with the fact that after all my hardships during the third grading period, I almost made it. Though I was not able to make it, I know I still have my last shot and that nwill be the final grading period. Now, I promised to myself that this time I will not allow myself to be frustrated from all of the experiences I had since my sophomore year. Now, I realized that being in the honors' list is not just for the sake to be in the honors' list and to see your name in the bulletin but also to prove to yourself that you can strive harder and do better than the previous grading period. Doing better the next time is what we should always think.

It's like when we make mistakes. Sometimes we have to undergo a mistake for us to understand the lesson behind that and to assure yourself that you'll not do the same old mistake again. That's why I know that the while I still have the last shot, I have to do my best and just give my best this time so that I won't have my frustrations anymore.

a sTaRe iS mOrE tHan a kiSS...

The Look
Strephon kissed me in the spring,

Robin in the fall,

But Colin only looked at me

And never kissed at all.
Strephon's kiss was lost in jest,

Robin's lost in play,

But the kiss in Colin's eyes

Haunts me night and day.
-- Sara Teasdale

A stare or a look is more powerful than a kiss. A stare may be imprinted in your mind forever but a kiss may be forgotten.

When a person stares at you and looks at you in the eyes intently, don't you feel conscious? When the person you love stares at you, you feel something inside of you, don't you?

Yes, we all know that a kiss is also memorable most especially when you shared that with the one you truly love. But a look lasts more than a kiss. A stare really lasts in your mind but a kiss may be forgotten at times.

A kiss may be given to anyone anytime even without love. But when someone stares at you, it really means a lot. You don't know whether a person is staring at you because there is something in your face or if that person wants something from you. But for whatever reason that stare is for, you know it really means something. Inside of you, you always think what that stare means.

But for whatever reason, I know that a stare lasts more than a kiss. A kiss only lasts for moment but a stare lasts for a lifetime or even forever.

bEiNg tAuGhT bY sTuDeNtS....

During the KYSD, the students had a rare opportunity to be able to experience the life of being a teacher even for once. The students really taught their classmates and really felt how it is to be a teacher even for a day. The teachers had a day off for that day because studnents were able to substitute them from teaching the students.

I was a teacher in the KYSD and I really know how hard it is to teach my classmates. Some times your classmates would even be naughtier and noisier because they think that nwe are just at the same level like were just like classmates. It is so difficult to control the whole class especially when your classmates are really noisy and they don't understand the feeling of being a teacher. Though I had a hard time during that day, I still had a lot of fun because at least now, I may be able to say to myself that being a teacher is not really that easy. It really takes a lot of patience and perseverance to be able to control your class and ti be able to teach them the lessons which you should teach them.

Teaching does not even end there. When you are a teacher, you must be able to have a connnection with your students. This is important because if you don't have a connection between you and your students, how will you be able to teach your students well, right? When you are a teacher you must also find ways so that our students will also understand the lesson you have been teaching them. If they won't understand anything from you, I think it would be better to quit the teaching profession. I think the reason why people wants to become teachers is because people also want to touch others lives through sharing what they know and what they could still share. In the future, those things will be able to help the students in a way they never thought would help them.

Being taught by the students is cool. I think it's cool because students will not be afraid anymore to ask any questions from you because they know that you are their classmate and if you ask anything from them you are sure that they will answer your questions. Next good thing about being taught by students is that nyou will have a chance to have a one-on-one lessons with the student teacher. And because of that advantage students would be able to understand the lesson more. I would suggest that at least once a month, a studennt will become a teacher so that nthe studnents nnwill also be able to interact more, In that way, the students will have more fun nbecause the students will look forward that the students will be able to teach the lessons which the teacher should discuss with the students.

For me, there is nothing wrong with the students teaching students. I guess its even more fun if this activity will not only be once a year but should be done many times so that students would be able to realize the hardships and sacrifices a teacher makes with every lesson or sharing he gives to his class.

fOr aS lOnG aS i hAtE iT...

I hate Math. I really hate it a lot. I guess I'm not the only person in the entire universe who hates it. Everytime we have tests in math I always frown and my confidence goes down. I'm not always sure about that but I know that whenever we have tests in Math, I would immediately infer (even if the papers are not yet checked) that I have failed. And when the time comes that the papers will be returned, I would already confirm my guess. I knew that I fail. But that doesn't really disappoint me. Maybe I was already used to it or maybe I already knew at the back of my mind that I failed.

Looking back at my elementary years, you'd probably be amazed how my mathematical skills just simply went away or should I say forgotten. During my elementary years, our section was like the star section of the school. We were always the ones who represent the school in different competitions and contests. Fortunately most of the times we always win. When I was still in Grade 3, our teacher chose students who would represent the school in math competitions. She chose 5 students and I was one of them. Since then, every afternoon we always have our math training and we always answer difficult math problems. Sometimes, we don't attend our regular classes just to be able to answer and study math problems (in case there are contests..). During that time we were alraedy exposed to different contests and competitions in math. We were kind of lucky then because we always win. Because of that, our teacher was even more determined to train us in math because she thinks that we may be able to accomplish and achieve more if we'll train harder.

Honestly, I don't like the training we had because our teacher always scold us and insult us if we don't get the answer right. For me, that was like the most torturing experience I ever had. Yes it's true that you will be able to learn math in advance but in exchange with that is fear and psychological pain.

This monstrous training continued until I was in grade 6. We were always made to answer math questions and eventhough we would like to stop and enjoy for a moment our teacher would always stop us from enjoying and playing around. She would rather want us to sit and answer those stupid math questions. Sometimes my head would ache because of thinking too much on how to solve the problem but our teacher won't even have mercy on me. Actually it was not only me, but the rest of us who were also in the same training.

When I graduated from elementary I was grateful and happy because at last I would be able to enjoy and be able to go out from such tireful training. And with that I promised to myself that I'd forget everything I learned during that gruelous training.

When I entered my first year, I was shocked. Not because I was new to the environment or I was not still able to adjust to the new people I met but because for the first time in my entire life, I experienced to have a grade with a line of 7 in the subject math. It was really surprising because when I was still in elementary I never had a grade in math below 85. I was surprised but though I started to realize to myself how I really hate the subject. Despite that, I was still able to make it to the honors' list. I still continued and strived harder in math because I knew I was not good at it by that time. But still I was still able to make it to the honors' list. I was really nervous at the fouth quarter because there is a policy in UP that if you have a subject with line of 7, you'll not be able to receive any certificate of recognition. But luckily I did have a grade of 80 in math at the last grading period so I was glad.

When I was in second year, I experienced my first failure in my entire life. And I guess you know it, it's still in the subject math. During the 3rd grading period I had a grade of 74. I really cried because I don't know what my parents' reaction will be. During that time, I experienced depression because I felt that I was like a nobody and I was really a useless person because I don't know anything. but then I realized I have to move on and strive even harder just to pass my sophomore year and luckily, I did. I was just sad in my sophomore year because I should be one of the honors' list for the last grading period but I was not able to get a certificate because of my grade in math. From then on. I realized, hy should I strive hard to be in the honors' list when i know that I'm weak in math and it would be impossible for me to have a grade in math above 80? Why should I work harder? See what math has done to me?

in my junior year I was glad because I was able to have a grading period where in I didn't get any subject with a line of 7. My math then was good and I had a grade of 83. I was surprised and happy but then in the last grading I was not able to make it but though I expected it. Anyway I know that I was weak in math and beacuse of it I will never have a chance to be in the honors' list anymore.

Now in my senior year, I still hate math. And my dislike about it never subsided (I know it won't..). But no matter what happens, even if I hate math I have to move on. I know I will never be able to erase math in the world or even in my life because I know that math is everywhere. And eventhough it brought me a lot of misfortunes, I know someday math would also be able to help me in a way in which I would never expect it will.

A dAy wiTh tHe eLdErS....

Last February 2, 2007 all of us (the seniors..) went to Gasa sa Gugma in Mabolo. It was for our CWTS outreach program. At first I thought that what we'll be doing in there will be obliged (in the sense that we really have to help the people there). But when I was already there you will realize the situation of the elder people.

Seeing old people there having a hard time standing up and talking made me really feel bad. I pity the people there because they were just abandoned by their relatives. Because of that I remembered my deceased grandmother. When she was just like them, she was also having a hard time standing up. But despite that, I was still happy because at least my aunt who was taking care of her then really cared and loved her. Unlike the people there in Gasa sa Gugma, they have no relatives to take care of them and love them.

When we were already there, we immediately took care of one elder. When we arrived there we knew that they were going to have a mass. So we immediately helped the lolos and the lolas to stand up and go to the chapel where the mass was going to be held. Each of us tried our very best to help the elder people so that they can attend the mass. Some of them couldn't stand up so the main stay attendants there held them through wheel chairs. But then some of them were really stubborn. They said that they would rather talk and stay where they are than to attend the mass. So we did not force them anymore and instead listened to what they had to say.

My attention was called by a certain lolo Diosdado. He was really talkative and was tellinmg us about his childhood experience. Ofcourse all of us listened. He said that he was sorry for his grandmother because his mother keeps on quarelling with his grandmother. He also keeps on saying that we should always listen to our parents and always stay close to them because no matter what comes up to us, our parents will always be there to support and love us. He keeps on repeating that we should also respect our parents because they were the ones who brought us up and we should always thank them for everything that they have been giving to us. He also told us about how much he loves his daughters, his wife and where he lives. He also told us that his daughters left him in there because his daughters would like to find money to be able to sustain his needs. He still hopes that someday, someone will fetch him from there.

The next elder I met was lolo Andres. He keeps on insisting that he was still 50 years old but we didn't complain. He told us how he loves movies and he also told us about his idols- Fernando Poe Jr. and the president Estrada. He also told us about his likes and dislikes and told us many things. But I guess he's having a memory loss because he keeps on repeating some things over and over again.

After this I still met a lot of old people there and I was able to know some of the experiences they had when they were still younger.

This activity made some of my classmates and batch mates cry. I almost cried too. We saw their hardships there even for a short period of time and I felt their pain. I felt the loneliness in their hearts and I also felt their will to be with their loved ones again. This also made me realize, why would some people leave their lolos and lolas in institutions like gasa sa gugma? Shouldn't they be the ones who shoul take care of them?

In the Philippines, we were all taught the values of respect, courtesy and most especially close family ties. We were always used to the scene in every household where all family members are staying with each other even with a tight budget. From the lolo, lola, mother, father, to the children and even the children of their children. I was always used that we take care of the elder mambers of the family. I even took care of my grandmother when she was still alive. I believe that the family shoul take care of each other even to their last breath. We are not obliged to do that but at least that's our way to say thank you to them for everything they have been giving us. I think it's not right to abandon them like that. At the end of the day, would you like to have the same situation as them. I guess not. Who wouldn't want to die in the presence of their family? We should just take care of them rather than abandoning them. Our lolos and lolas need our love, support and understanding and I believe we should just give that to them.

Spread Love and peace to your lolos and lolas. Give them the love they deserve.

Mr. wEbStEr!! hElp mE dEfiNe tHis wOrd pLs...

Love. What is love? As we all know, love is a really broad topic which could be debated by anyone, anytime. No matter how we define what love is, we will only have countless discussions and limitless debates about it. Actually, no one could really justify the real meaning of love but instead one could just define love as the way they see or feel it.

Love is defined in the dictionary as a strong affection or attraction for another arising out of kinship or personal ties. But is love really based mainly on attraction or affection for another person? Shouldn't it also be based upon the way you feel it or see it?

For me, love is everything and everywhere. The trees, flowers, the sky, the sun, the people, animals and basically everything we see. Those things were made because of love. If not for love, I guess not even a single cell on this world will exist. Not you, nor me will be able to stay on earth and be able to live the way we want it to be. God started it all. He was the one who first spread and showed love to the world. If not for his love, earth will not be as lively, as colorful and as vibrant as it is right now. So inorder to thank him for the love he has been giving us, we should also be responsible enough to take care of the things he has been giving us. If not for Him, will we be able to live? I guess not.I believe in what people say that "Love is God and God is Love."

They say love can move mountains. Yes, I believe that. Love can move mountains though not literally. Love can change anyone. One can be changed because of the one he or she loves or one can be changed by the love the person he or she loves gives him or to her.

I hear many people say that love has changed them in many ways. Some say that because of love they were able to live a blissful life. Some say that because of love they were able to find the real meaning of life and even found the one whom they truly love. But despite these happy recollections, some would still say that love made their lives really miserable. But in what ways does love make some lives miserable?

Personally, I have already experienced how to love and be loved. To love and be loved feels good especially when you know that the one you love also feels the same as you are. But consequently when you love, you should also be ready to get hurt. Sometimes in love you should always be ready to face the pain and always expect the unexpected. Its when you expect that you get hurt. For example, your expecting that somehow the one you love will also love you the way you wanted to be loved by that person. But instead of getting the love you think you deserve, the one you love doesn't love you back and thus love another person.

Ofcourse, who wouldn't be hurt by that? All along you have been expecting that there is a possibility for the both of you to be together but then that dream just came crushing down when you realized that the one you love loves somebody else and sad to say it's not you. You would then think of stupid reasons why everything happened just like that. You even cry every night to at least release the pain. But then you'll soon realize that you're already having a hard time getting over a person, especially the one you love.

Based from my personal experience, forgetting and getting over a person is not that easy. it would really take time. As people say, time could heal the wounds of the past and I really do agree with that. One might get over a person in a minute, in a minute or worst, years. Sometimes you just have to let time pass and just try to forget everythingto avoid being hurt. But sad to say, even how hard you try to get over a person, you still feel the pain; you still feel hurt. Sometimes you tend to move away, ignore or don't even talk to the person just to tellyourself that you'll be able to hide the pain and get over the person. But deep inside you, you'll just realize that your love for that person never subsides but instead it grows more. You even cry yourself to sleep sometimes trying to reminisce the past and trying to get over the person completely. But the more you ignore the person, the more it gets hurt and the more it becomes harder to move on.

Young as I am, I can say that I already say that I have already experience some lessons in love and these are as follows:

1. Never love a person more than yourself
2. Learn to control your emotions.
3. Do not give your all. Give yourself some worth.
4. Don't love a person one sidedly. (This really hurts!)
5. Tell the person you love what you truly feel.
6. Try to let go and move on.
7. Don't be a martyr.
8. Do not expect too much.
9. Love the person according to the kind of love he deserves.

The tenth is that in love you should always know that there are NO RULES. You may follow a certain list but eventually that will just simply fade away. You'll just realize that when you love a person you learn to love everything about him- even the negative traits.

Now tell me Mr. Webster, could you really define love? How about true love?

pRiNcEsS hOuRs...

Lately, I've been very hooked to a television show. Its title is Princess Hours. Its korean title is goong which means 'palace' or 'love in the palace'. This show is starred by Eun-Yoon-Hee who plays the role of princess Janelle. Joo-Ji-Hoon plays the character of prince Gian. Kim-Jeong Hoon as prince Troy and Song-Ji-Hyo as Monique.

The story is about an ordinary girl being married and eventually falling in love with the prince. They were to marry according to the will of the great king and his bestfriend. They promised to each other that they will make their grandchildren marry each other. At first, Prince Gian dislikes her because he finds her so annoying. Princess Janelle later started to have feelings toward the prince but hides it instead because she believes that the prince still loves her ex- girlfriend, Monique. The story complicates when prince Troy, the prince's cousin started to fall in love with Janelle. As Troy's feelings deepened towards Janelle, Monique tries to get back her boyfriend (Prince Gian) but then eventually gives up. Troy also gives up because he saw how both of them (Janelle and Gian) love each other so much. Gian then finally realizes that he also has feelings toward Janelle. The story ends in Macau where the royal couple remarried in a Catholic Church and with Janelle having a possibility of carrying the royal grandchild.

I like the story so much because it pictures the dream of every girl- to become a princess. I believe being a princess is every girl's dream. Living in their own palace and sharing dreams with their prince charming. Who doesn't want to be like that? But we all know that in reality fairy tales don't come true- they don't exist. If they do exist, only a chosen few gets a chance to live a fairy tale life. Through the story, I knew that being a prince or a princess is not that easy. Being a royalty also means carrying with you the responsibilty to lead the people, most especially the country. In the story, I pity the lives of the royalties so much. Eventhough it seems that they get to have everything they want, it doesn't really mean like that. Like for example, Prince Gian never cared to have a dream because no one asked about it and no one even cares if he has his own dreams or not. He never even cared to make his own decisions because somebody will be doing the decision for him which is quite not fair for him. He has his own life but he can't live it by himself but instead other people decides and lives it for him.

I also like the character of Janelle because she really was a fighter and eventhough she was already living in the palace she did not change her real self but instead showed it to everyone. Unexpectedly, everyone in the palace learned to love her because of her very bubbly character. Even the very stiff prince learned to like her and eventually loved her. She makes everyone feel happy especially the great queen (Gian's grandmother). But she also hides her sadness and pain because she feels that her husband doesn't love her and that she alraedy feels something for her husband. But eventhough, she still manages to smile and be happy because she believes that problems will eventually pass.

Troy, the cousin of Gian was the prince who wanted revenge. Because of Prince Marco's death(Troy's father)Troy and his mother lived away from the palace. They both stayed in England. After 14 years, they came back in Korea with a plan to regain the king's position and to make Troy a prince again. Unexpectedly, Troy falls for Janelle because he believes that they should be the ones to become the royal crown prince and princess if not for his father's death. But as he struggles to fight his love for Janelle, Janelle falls in love deeper to Gian. This made him rage and he even wanted to fight more and get the prince's position. Eventually, he gave up because he saw how much Gian and Janelle love each other.

Monique was Gian's ex- girlfriend. Gian even proposed to her but then rejects him because she wants to fulfill her dream- to become a famous ballerina. As she tries to keep Gian away from her mind, she found herself love him even more. That's why she tries to get him back but then she failed because Gian alraedy liked Janelle at that time. She regrets of letting go of her love for her dream but then she can't turn back the time. But eventually she lets go of her love and moves on.

Isn't the story exciting guys? But I won't spill much of the story more because I might spoil the excitement (I actually know what will happen in the story because I already saw it.) So watch Princess Hours Mondays to Thursdays after Maging Sino Ka Man. Enjoy watching guys! Have fun!